I first thought about this subject a few weeks ago while reading an article on our sistah site ForHarriet.com called “Summertime, Sundresses and Street Harassment.”  First off let me say, well written.  The article detailed the hot weather heavy “damn girl,” “must be jelly cause shake like jam,” and “thicker than two snickers” comments all brown mamas experience once they shed their winter sherlings and Uggs for fitted summer dresses and shorts.  Well needless to say, these men need to learn some self-control. But as Iyanla Vanzant says “in the meantime,” as we patiently await their slow progression toward maturity, here are four ways to respond to the onslaught of “hey babies” you will hear as you walk these streets of in your summer gear.

him: Damn you look good
You: Thank you, young man.

Now I know this sounds simple, but the “young man” at the end of any response to a harassing compliment immediately let’s the guy know you know that he’s beneath you.  Further, it gives him no good reason to continue with whatever follow-up compliments he has tucked away for a response.  This works especially good for young brothas who already lack the confidence to speak to you in a congenial manner in the first place and won’t know exactly how to respond to any sign that you might be as old as his mother.

him: You got a man, girl?
You: Uh, Oh, Uh, Oh….Give Him the Beyonce Wave

Keep a spare ring.  It can be something you buy for $5 at the clothing store, but it will do the trick of making him think somebody already put a ring on it.  You know we always spot them way before they spot us.  So when you see them reach for your cell and slide on the ring.  The best part about this trick is it requires no use of words. Just flash and dash.

him: Yo, can I get ya number?
You: No, you can get my email.

Girl, just keep a couple of scraps of paper in your purse with a random email scribbled down, and say this: “You know what my job pays for my cell so I’m not allowed to give out the number.  But, you can email me.” ((((She flashes a smile, and exits stage left)))) Just like that!

Muffy Mendoza

Hello. Welcome to BrownMamas.com a blog for Black moms looking to thrive while raising kids in this hectic world and the headquarters for Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a Pittsburgh support group for Black moms. Here I write about raising my three boys, living in and loving Pittsburgh, dating my husband, gardening and all kinds of other stuff. Thanks for visiting. Stay long & come often!

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