The first characteristic that most Black women go to when they are defining themselves is strong. And trust me, I couldn’t agree more.  Brown Mamas are resilient, sturdy and often stand-in to support our men as the backbones of our communities.  But, if you look a little closer you will see us for what we really are.  We are vulnerable.  We are oh, so beautiful. We are lovely and loving.  Let’s just admit it.  Most of us are big softies in the inside, just oozing with hearts, teddy bears and all kinds of mushy stuff.  And newsflash: we show it all the time.  We just don’t know that we’re doing it.  Well I’m about to put us all out on front street.  Check this out!

1. When We See an Old Sistah-friend

You know the scene mamas.  First comes the “AAHH,” then comes the million dollar hug and next the barrage of questions.  You don’t know it mama, but you’re showing us your softer side when that happens.  It’s the rekindling of a bond, a jump in the spirit and a need for a hug from someone you once loved and cherished.  All the rainbows and skittles are popping out when you see your old girlfriend.  Guess what mamas, that’s cool.  I love to see two brown mamas hugging and trading stories after a prolonged absence.  You don’t know it, but it makes your fellow brown girls feel good to know that through it all we are still creating lasting bonds with one another.

2. During Movie Night with the Kids

I’ve seen it so many times, I can’t even count.  Brown Mamas shine at movie night.  We get all the blankets out.  We pop the popcorn and usher in the snacks.  We cuddle up close with our kids and fall asleep while they watch Shrek.  It’s beautiful.  You’re kids love you for that mamas!  They love the closeness they get with you.  They love that you’re all doing something together.  They love the warmth in the room.  This definitely proves Brown Mamas are lovers and we LOVE to cuddle as much as any other woman.

3. When We Cook

Yes mamas.  When you are cooking dinner in addition to all of delicious smells emanating from the kitchen, bubbles and lollipops are floating out as well.  You know when you ask your oldest child to taste what you just made, you get  a little sprint of warmness in your spirit.  When you smack someone’s hand away from the plate of chicken, that feels good too. And, your family feels it. Mamas its natural for a real woman to feel good about what she’s feeding her family.  So, bask in it.  Turn on your music,give hubby a kiss after he sneaks a bite of the chicken.  LOVE what you’re doing because you’re doing a great job!

4. When we Takeover

Have you ever been at an event or another mamas house after a birthday party or dinner?  Peep this.  Next time you’re there, notice what happens when it’s time for clean-up. We brown mamas become super helpful and malleable when something needs to get done.  Somebody grabs the broom, another mama starts putting the food away, another sistahs starts wiping stuff off.  There’s just a vibe there that I’ve never experienced around other women.  It’s almost as if we are feeding off one another.  We are willing to wash some dishes (even though we may hate washing dishes) or, lift a few small boxes to help the brothas out.  We don’t know it, but this is us showing our more flexible, loving and softer sides.

How are you showing your softer side mamas?

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Cynthia Mendoza

Hello. Welcome to a blog for Black moms looking to thrive while raising kids in this hectic world and the headquarters for Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a Pittsburgh support group for Black moms. Here I write about raising my three boys, living in and loving Pittsburgh, dating my husband, gardening and all kinds of other stuff. Thanks for visiting. Stay long & come often!

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