How did you feel when you first became a mother?
When I first became a mom I felt fairly confident. Mostly because I didn’t know how much work being a mom would be. Being a mom also gave me a reason to get all of my ducks in order. I felt a lot of support from my family.
How do your feeling about motherhood differ now?
Initially, when I gave birth to my first daughter, I thought that by bettering myself I was bettering the life of my daughter. We were kind of growing up together. But now with my 7-year-old, I’m more in tune with doing things that would directly benefit her. I’m really conscious of how every decision and action of mines impacts both my children. My level of maturity, love and patience has come from my relationship with God and transformed my relationship with my children.
What advice would you give to moms right now?
Do the best you can and take the help. Sometimes we as moms don’t take help because we’re afraid of judgment or shame. But, my advice to moms is that if someone wiser and older offers to help you and it’s genuine, take the help.
What makes you a #GoodMama ?
I think what makes me a #goodmama is that I see my children as gifts from Jehovah. As such, I know that giving them anything less than my best isn’t an option! With his help and guidance I can continue to do my best and know it’s enough. Realizing that I’m surrounded by other awesome moms that I can learn from, is invaluable. I never view the opportunity to be a mom as burdensome or limiting. I always strive to be humble and loving with my babies and everyone else because they are beautiful!
Give us one of your #FunnyMommyMoments.
Why do you think moms-of-color get a bad rap?
I think moms-of-color sometimes get a bad rap because we can be more verbal about our insecurities in regard to mothering. Mothers of all races have them, but we seem to voice those concerns where as others put up the “I got this all figured out” front, and then struggle in private. Whether we voice concerns to our spouse, our village or an external agency, sistahs be like “Yo, I need some help with these kids.” I’ve learned that asking for assistance is hard when you’re taught that you’re supposed to be resilient and strong. And, sometimes that’s unfortunately viewed as being inadequate or weak. Also, it could be that we do whatever we can to keep our kids in a child’s place. Most of the time those tactics are fair, but firm. So, we are often viewed as being too tough. But, it’s all done out of love. So, mamas let’s keep our heads up and keep pressing on. Black moms rock!