My teenage boy is officially going through puberty. Everything in my world came to a screeching halt last week when my son walked in the kitchen as I was stewing chicken and said “So mom I kind of just don’t understand what this intimacy thing is all about.  Do you think we could watch a video about it?”

After a few stutters, I started out with some questions like “Well what do you know about sex so far,” and “Who have you talked to about this?”  Obviously, I have three children, so I know all about sex, but I wasn’t sure where he was coming from with his questions and if I had any doubt in my mind that he was going through puberty, it has officially been confirmed.

I’d long been suspicious of his “extended stays” in the bathroom, constant changing of his sheets and hair that I happened to see growing all over his body when I walked into the bathroom unexpectedly a few times.  So, rather than wing this one, I decided to consult an expert by purchasing “The Boy’s Body Book: Third Edition: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up YOU.”  Here’s what the book told me about my teenage boy.

Teenage Boys Going Through Puberty DO Masturbate

Mom’s don’t freak out.  The Boy’s Body Book says it’s totally natural that he masturbates and it’s also natural that he doesn’t really want to talk to you about it.  Nonetheless, masturbation is a result of wet dreams and your son’s new fondness for girls.  The book includes a list of signs your son is masturbating and how to start having the talk with your budding young man.

One quick tip about teenage boys and masturbating: don’t encourage it.  Studies proves that teenage boys who masturbate constantly are more likely to have positive sexual identity as adults.  Try to find something your son can channel is sexual energy into.  If he has a particular activity or subject he really enjoys find ways to mentally distract him by requiring him to spend more time mastering that activity.  I’m in the process of doing this with my now 15-year-old and it is working.

Yes, his body is changing and yes, he smells bad

The Boy’s Body Book says some of the signs your son is experiencing puberty include, but are not limited to, an increase in body odor, swelling or weight gain in the face, breast and thighs, sensitivity to loud noises and a ton of other symptoms.  You can expect this to begin when your son turns about 10 years old.

The book also gives tips on helping your son control his weight during puberty and helping him eliminate that smell that is emanating from his bedroom.

Yes, he’s crazy. No, it’s not you.

My general rule for teenage kid is that after 11-years=old, I stopped trusting his words. (Especially once your teenage son is going through puberty.  His hormones are literally raging.)  From peer pressure to strange request and arguments with your son, puberty will drive a mama crazy.  One weekend my son asked to start his own blog, build a roller-coaster in the backyard and start his own landscaping business all in the course of two days. Then told me I didn’t support his dreams because I told him he should take more time to think about it.  Huh?

The Boy’s Body Book says when teenage boys go through puberty they are looking for two things: place and purpose.   That’s why peer pressure can be so detrimental to their self-esteem.  If boys don’t feel accepted or like they fit in with a certain group at school it literally crushes their dreams.

The number one reason I love this book is that it is written for my son, not for me.  It’s easy for him to read and gives tips in a way that he can understand without feeling weird.  Get a copy for your son below.


Cynthia Mendoza

Hello. Welcome to BrownMamas.com a blog for Black moms looking to thrive while raising kids in this hectic world and the headquarters for Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a Pittsburgh support group for Black moms. Here I write about raising my three boys, living in and loving Pittsburgh, dating my husband, gardening and all kinds of other stuff. Thanks for visiting. Stay long & come often!

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