May 22nd, 2014

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blog How to Deal with a Disappointing Co-Parent

By: Diamonte Walker We’ve all been there at some point.  The relationship has come to an end and the other parent is not living up to their end of the bargain – or at least it feels that way.  You need partnership when taking care of kids, so it is frustrating when it seems like you two are not on the same page.  We know that the best way to avoid a co-parenting crisis is to pick better mates on the front end, but if things are beyond that point, all is not lost.  We’re all adult enough to know that you can’t make a person do what they don’t want to do, but there are some ways to make it easier and take some of those excuses off the table. Here are some quick Brown Mommy tips on how to overcome co-parenting challenges.

10 Strategies to Cope:

• If your child is disappointed, firmly let them know it is not their fault.
• Avoid demeaning the other parent in front of the child, but don’t make excuses either.
• Resist the urge to overcompensate for the other parent’s absence. Spoiling a kid is not good for anybody.
• Put past relationship issues on the backseat to make sure the other parent is not avoiding the child because they don’t want to deal with you.
• Help your child set realistic expectations when it comes to the other parent. Have an honest discussion with the other parent about making false promises and then not delivering.
• Avoid calling with issues or to just ask for money. Communicate about positive things going in the child’s life, so the other parent feels included.
• If the other parent is just outright unwilling, don’t force the issue. If possible, keep your child connected to other more willing members in their other family. Kids  like to feel connected to where they come from.
• Don’t stress about it. Children are resilient. Remind them they are loved and help them focus on the sweet spot in other areas of their life. Remember, one whole parent can do a lot more for a child than two broken ones.

What are some strategies you use to deal with a disappointing co-parent? We want to know. Visit Dia’s blog by clicking here.