by Muffy Mendoza
Tags: #goodmama
black parents
brown mamas
Cindy Mendoza
Cynthia Levy
Dianne Levy
pittsburgh brown mamas
single moms
teenage moms
1. When did you become a mom and how did you feel when you first became a mom?
I became a mom at a young age, 15, not knowing how to truly feel about motherhood. I watched my mom be a housewife. She cleaned the house, made the beds, cooked, sewed….etc. She did what housewives do everyday and I realized motherhood meant work, constantly being busy. I remember waking up between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. going into the kitchen to sit while my mom made sandwiches for my dad’s lunch. Everyday my mom did the same ritual of packing his lunch and I tried my best to wake up early and go down to the kitchen to watch my mom in action and possibly get to help on some days. Watching my mom, grandmother and other women in my life during that time meant motherhood represented responsibility for another life or lives. That first glance at the beautiful daughter I created meant I was responsible for her precious life and I took that job very seriously. Thinking back motherhood meant responsibility.
Levy Ladies & Kids
2. How do your feeling about motherhood differ now from back then?
Oh wow! My view of motherhood has changed drastically realizing that motherhood is not just responsibility it is joy, pain, laughter, gladness, sadness…etc and you automatically go on worry mode. Motherhood takes you through every emotion possible and back again. Its 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and there is never a day off, just quiet moments. Motherhood adds so much to your life and it teaches you so many life lesson. Some are related to motherhood and some not. There are days you want to run from it and other days you can’t get enough of being a mom. Now being a mom of adult children I realize sometimes it is harder than when my children were younger. When my children were younger they just wanted to know that I was there for them. If they fell, they wanted mom there to patch them up. Have you ever sat in the park and watched a child at play? Before sliding down that slide they look for their mom. They usually wave and slide down that side with confidence that if they fall their mom is there to run to. When my children first became adults they still thought I was supermom with a cape. When they call the problems aren’t boo-boos I can kiss and make all better. The problems are situations that they think needed immediate attention and they believe supermom(me) has all the answer. Nowadays my children realize I am a person. I don’t have all the answers but I will give them the best mom advice I have. And now with 2 of my children having families of their own they are wearing their own supermom cape.
3. What advice would you give to moms?
I would advise another mom that you don’t always have to have all the answers and that is ok. You can always ask an older mom. Wisdom comes with raising children. You don’t always get the dishes done, clothes washed and folded, floors sweep…etc. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers to the homework (google does…I didn’t have that back then). Despite all the things you can’t get finished, you’re still a good mom. Most of the time there is not enough money, learn the difference between a want and a necessity. A lot of things brought are things you WANT your children to have and not that they necessarily need. The most important piece of advice I would give is that it is okay to tell your children NO. That does not mean you are a bad mother! NO is not a bad word. Teach them to be comfortable in their own skin. Never compare them to another child or sibling, each child is their own individual. Remember when your children are young they want your undivided attention and most of all want to include you in their life. Those moments do not last forever.