by Muffy Mendoza
Tags: #goodmama
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1. When did you become a mom and how did it feel?
I’d already had three miscarriages, and we were right in the middle of beginning the adoption process when I found out I was pregnant with Avery. We’d gone through treatments and so many disappointments that truthfully when I first found out I was going to be a mom I was scared to death. I’d already resigned myself to the idea that I might not be able to have any biological children. So, I spent a lot of time during my 9 months afraid of losing her. I hid my pregnancy. People at my church didn’t even know until I was like 8 months along because I was so afraid to tell anyone.
Avery, 1
2. What’s the difference in how you feel now about motherhood compared to how you felt at the beginning?
I’m not gonna lie during those first weeks I was still scared. I was like, “Am I going to make it through this? Can I survive?” But now, everyday I progressively get into a routine with my 16-month-old, and it’s the best thing every! I can’t imagine life without her. I surprise myself in those moments when she’s having a full-scale meltdown and I’m calm and I understand her. I get that this is how she expresses her emotions and its my job to model for her how she is supposed to express those emotions, eventually. Now I know that God’s mercies are new every morning. Yes, I will survive this!
3. What advice would you give to other moms?
I would tell moms that we can make plans all we want, but that God has a plan of his own. When I was pregnant, I had a doula, a birth plan and planned to have those first moments of skin-to-skin contact with my baby. I thought I had it all figured out. But, two days before I found out Avery was breach and I had to have a C-section. Yes it’s great to have plans, but you have to learn to go with the flow when you have kids.
4. What does your ideal mommy-friend look like?
A friend that listens to me without judgement and can give me advice . I want someone to laugh with and cry with. And most of all, that’s the kind of mommy-friend I want to be to someone else.