Dinner and a movie get very boring after awhile.  Me and Mack have been married for seven years now, and our days of dinner and a movie are definitely waning.  In fact going out at all, since we have three children, just seems either impossible or too much of a task at this point.  So, we are having to find ways to turn our lifestyle into something that we can enjoy together.  That means things we would normally do alone have turned into activities we enjoy together.

 

Breakfast in Bed

When we were first married, my mother-in-law gave us a breakfast tray.  At the time, we were in the midst of back-to-back baby boys and I thought to myself that I ‘d never have time to use that thing.  Well it turns out that the precursor for making ‘me-time’ into ‘we-time’ is food and it can happen anytime of day.  The thing I love most about doing breakfast time in bed with my hubby is that it inspires pillow talk.  We share what happened during our week, give each other advice and grow our relationship.  Rather than having my eggs and toast alone while watching Super Soul Sunday, I share that time with my hubby.

readniggaRead a Book Together & Build

For the first time since we’ve been married the hubster and I read a book together about a month ago. I am an avid reader and normally read alone.  But, when I began reading “The Spook Who Sat Behind the Door” after the first chapter I knew it would be something Mackell would read.  So, I got on Amazon and ordered him a copy.  We talked about what we read in each chapter and he even tried to read ahead a few times, which is in his competitive nature.  But, we had a good time.  After we finished we found the movie version on YouTube and spent a Saturday morning watching the film.  That book is now like a hidden piece of information that exist between just the both of us.

Go Grocery Shopping Together

For two Sundays in a row Mackell and I had the luxury of having a babysitter.  But we didn’t want to waste the time doing things that did not contribute to the running of the household.  So, we took a walk to get in some exercise and jumped on a bus to go to the grocery store.  It was one of the best dates we’ve had in awhile.  We split up the grocery list on our first “date” and the second time we did all of the shopping together.  We laughed, had some playful banter and enjoyed each other’s company while still doing something that contributes to the health of the family.  He made it back home in time to watch the game and I got my 7-day cook on.

Being in a relationship is just that.  It’s about finding ways to relate to your mate that are not based on outside interaction.  At the end of the day all you have is you and your man.  So, find ways to enjoy his company and for he to enjoy yours without spending money, showboating and dressing it up.  You can garden together, make dinner together, fix the kitchen sink together.  The possibilities are endless.

 

 

Coupling

couple timedifferent ways to spend time with husbandme timewe time

Muffy MendozaAuthor posts

Muffy Mendoza is an author, speaker and founder of Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a support group for nearly 4,000 African-American moms in the Pittsburgh region. To further fill the void Muffy has created a line of educational products focused on helping Black moms be the best moms, too. Her first book, The Brown Mama Mindset: A Blueprint for Black Moms on Life, Love & Home, was featured at the 2018 Essence Festival and is currently sold in various cities across the U.S. Muffy champions the beauty of Black motherhood everywhere she goes, even on the TEDx stage. Find out more about Muffy on muffymendoza.com.

1 Comment

  • This is great because Donel is always telling me about the books that he’s reading. I am certainly going to take this advice and grab a second copy of whatever he is reading so that we can have that “hidden piece of information that only exists between the both of us”. By the way he read The Spook Who Sat By The Door and I can probably have a discussion with someone as if I read it because he shared so much information with me, we also watched the movie together.

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