My children are loved, are enjoying their childhood, and are being raised in a home that takes their rearing seriously. I work HARD to make sure these realities hold up. I do not make any decisions without contemplating the impact on my children, nor do I take this gift of motherhood for granted. I so desperately want to “get it right” for their sake. ☺ I guess the ultimate test will happen when my children are adults–hopefully they will look at me and say with conviction that I am and have always been a #goodmama.
As the mama, I am the one who has had a huge impact on this moment, on our little culture that’s been created, on our life as a family.
My journey to motherhood was interrupted several times. Like many women, prior to giving birth to my son and daughter, I experienced multiple 1st trimester miscarriages back to back to back. Additionally, I experienced the most heartbreaking situation of my life when after being blessed to make it past the 1st trimester twins, after making it to the mid-way point, I tragically delivered my babies at 22 weeks and held them in my arms as they passed. This definitely took a toll on my view of myself and my future. I am so thankful that I did not relinquish my Faith and my hope of becoming a mother who would get to raise her family. The birth of my son was very much a miracle. For so long I had lived in anticipation of mothering. With his arrival, I was finally able to transition from anticipation into being. This reality of being really hit home with me and has increased over the years and especially since giving birth to my daughter. Now, I can truly say that I love being in the moment. I try to take in every precious happening with my children. I do not focus on the next thing, but instead I work to see them and enjoy them as they are now.
Ask for help when you need it, do things YOUR way, and don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ to whoever needs to hear it.
In my mind, “America” for the most part, views African-American mothers in a negative light. There are numerous stereotypes about us that have been created to serve a specific purpose. I am honestly not sure if those who hold such ugly beliefs would ever be ‘surprised’ because it seems that no matter how many counter arguments and examples are presented, these people will continue to believe the lies and stereotypes.
I think I’m most proud when my family is together and we are laughing and having a great time. Sometimes it really hits me that “I am the mama here!” As the mama, I am the one who has had a huge impact on this moment, on our little culture that’s been created, on our life as a family.
Life is unpredictable! A lot of the times, we have to go with the flow. Moments, days, and seasons rarely go as you’ve planned—and that’s ok ☺. I actually prefer it to be this way. I am eternally grateful for the times when God said “No” or “Not right now,” when I prayed for certain things. Who knows where my life would be had His answer been “Yes” during those times.
In addition to being a #goodmama, Shana is a Beach Body fitness instructor and motivator. If you want shana to get you in shape, visit her website at www.beachbodycoach.com/shapingupwithshana.
Hello. Welcome to BrownMamas.com a blog for Black moms looking to thrive while raising kids in this hectic world and the headquarters for Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a Pittsburgh support group for Black moms. Here I write about raising my three boys, living in and loving Pittsburgh, dating my husband, gardening and all kinds of other stuff. Thanks for visiting. Stay long & come often!