Kids and police brutality are words I never thought I’d have to use in the same sentence.  But, reality is that Americans are having to face this reality everyday, especially if you happen to be raising three Black boys in the inner city.  (Raise your hand if you’re in that group.  I know I am.)

Just last month my son had a totally and completely positive interaction with the police.  He was at a local outdoor shopping mall with his cousins and the police stopped them as a reminder about the curfew at the shopping mall.  My son was attending our family reunion and we were staying at a nearby hotel.  The officer told the boys to return to their hotel and be safe, and that was it.  So, how do I tell my son that all police officers won’t be that nice?

How do we tell our kids that as they get older they may be perceived as a threat?  How do I tell my son that even the pretty brown-skin girl in his class might be slammed to the ground in her bathing suit by an adult who is supposed to protect her?  How do I tell him that throughout history the police officers, who he idolized as a little boy,  have brutalized men that look like his dad, grandfather and uncles?

It’s tough and I don’t have all the answers. And that’s why I’m participating in the #BlackMomsChat this Thursday at 7pm EST to find answers about having “The Talk” with my boys.  In the meantime, here are some talking points to include in your chat about kids and police brutality.


All cops aren’t bad cops.

In light of all the shootings that have occurred, we can’t forget about the police that are just like the one my son met last month.  He just wants to get home safe and keep peace in the community.  As a mom of 3 black boys, it’s hard for me to admit it, but all cops aren’t bad.

Racism IS real!

You can’t talk to your kids about police brutality and forget to mention that some people simply do not like others because of their skin color.  We would be leaving out a huge factor in the issues that cause police brutality if leaving out the fact that most police brutality victims are targeted because of race.  (We’ll be talking about this during the #BlackMomsChat more info is below)

It happens to girls too!

Sandra Bland, the young Black girl in South Carolina who was pulled from her desk and tossed across the room by a police officer and we can never forget the young girl from Texas who was pinned down by a police officer while wearing her bikini.  Our conversations about police brutality MUST include our young black girls. Sometimes we are so consumed with having the conversation with our sons who might be pulled over by police, that we forget it’s happening to our girls too.  Our sons need to realize that not only should they be protecting themselves from renegade officers, but that they must look out for their sisters too.

It’s never too early to have “The Talk”

It’s okay to leave out graphic details about police brutality with your 5-year-old, you have to prepare them for the fact that they might witness or be a victim of police brutality long before they are able to process why. (i.e. Tamir Rice & the young girl who witnessed the shooting of Philandro Castille)  It’s never to early.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, in this day in age all parents need to have “The Talk” with their kids.

On Thursday at 7pm EST I will be participating in a Twitter chat about talking to our children about police brutality. We will be addressing everything from talking to our girls about police brutality to what age is appropriate to have “The Talk” and how to restore our faith in the policing system.  We will be joined by Officer Nakia Jones the African-American female police officer who posted an impassioned Facebook message calling out her fellow officers who commit heinous crimes against the very people they should be protecting. Follow us using the #BlackMomsChat.


I’ll see you on Thursday!

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Muffy MendozaAuthor posts

Muffy Mendoza is an author, speaker and founder of Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a support group for nearly 4,000 African-American moms in the Pittsburgh region. To further fill the void Muffy has created a line of educational products focused on helping Black moms be the best moms, too. Her first book, The Brown Mama Mindset: A Blueprint for Black Moms on Life, Love & Home, was featured at the 2018 Essence Festival and is currently sold in various cities across the U.S. Muffy champions the beauty of Black motherhood everywhere she goes, even on the TEDx stage. Find out more about Muffy on


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