by Muffy Mendoza
Tags: advice for raising young adults
books for young adults
Raising Teenage Black Boys
Raising Teenage Boys
raising teenagers
tools for raising young adults
Raising young adults in the current era is a journey marked by unique and unforeseen challenges. When our son turned 21 last year, we thought we were headed for utopia of being a care-free parent of an adults. We started reading books like crazy!
Because we were so wrong!
This critical life stage demands more guidance.
It demands more money.
It demands more teaching and training.
AND, on top of all that it, it demands that you stretch your own mental and emotional capacity to truly emapthize with their lack of context for adult behaviors and the mistakes they will undoubtedly make.
More than any other stage, when raising young adults this is your last chance to equip them with the necessary skills to face the complexities of the modern, real world.
That said, here are the five realities I had to face in raising my newly adult child.
Decision-Making in the Real World
One of the foremost challenges in raising young adults is their developing decision-making skills. At 18, and even 21, my son lacked the real-world context that leads to good decisions. His limited experiences didn’t allow him to consider long-term impacts. This phase really requires a delicate balance of allowing them to make mistakes while also offering guidance and support.
He’s almost 22 today and I have to consistently weigh the need to intervene with allowing him to make the mistake so he has the context for later decision-making. My rule of thumb right now is that if the mistake can’t lead to an error, a mistake that will literally change the course of his life, I let it be.
Mastering Adult Responsibilities
Another significant aspect of raising young adults is guiding them through basic adult tasks. Many young adults find it challenging to manage responsibilities like scheduling appointments, renewing licenses, and maintaining personal finances.
What I realized was that he could actually do them on his own, but he was afraid because he never actually did them on his own. Sure, I’d sit with him as a teen while he took his permit or called the doctor, but he always had be there with him. He’d get nervous at the thought of having to do it alone.
These tasks, while simple for seasoned adults, can be daunting for the inexperienced. Our task is to teach these skills patiently, preparing them for the independent life that lies ahead.
Adapting to Adult Schedules
Transitioning from a structured childhood to a self-directed adult life is another hurdle. Young adults must learn to balance classes, work commitments, and personal life without parental prompting.
In my son’s first year of college, it was the norm for him to wake up at 2pm, go to class and hang with his friends until 5am the next day. After college, the transition has been real. It took awhile for him to realize he really has to revamp his entire way of thinking about the schedule of his life.
He had to have the realization that managing hisown schedules is a critical step in their journey towards his independence.
Emotional Adjustments in Adulthood
The emotional aspect of raising young adults cannot be overstated. At first, my son was sinking under the expectations of adult life. One moment he’s hanging with friends and going to prom and the next everyone expected him to be an adult.
Again, he had no context for what adults is. During this period, we are having to constantly remind him that he is a young adult and that he is still learning. I think we should stop telling our older children they are adults. It’s harmful when they don’t understand what that means and are grasping for straws trying to be something they don’t have the mental, physical or emotional capacity to be.
The transition to adulthood brings a host of new demands, often leading to emotional struggles. Parents must navigate this delicate stage, offering support while respecting their child’s growing independence.
The Impact of Social Media
In today’s digital age, the influence of social media on young adults adds another layer of complexity. Social media can significantly impact their self-esteem, body image, and overall mental health.
Young adults are often under pressure to maintain a certain image online, leading to issues like anxiety and depression. Parents must be aware of these challenges and help their children navigate the digital world healthily and responsibly.
Conclusion: A Multifaceted Journey
Raising young adults is more than a phase; it’s a multifaceted journey involving emotional, practical, and digital challenges. Parents must evolve from caretakers to advisors, providing support across various aspects of their children’s lives. By understanding these challenges, we can help our young adults grow into well-rounded, responsible, and emotionally resilient individuals, ready to tackle the world.
Click here for an Amazon list of Books for Young Adults.