I just read about a new study which found that childless couples are happier than couples with children. According to the study, moms are happier than couples with and without children, childless women, and dads. Even men with children were almost as happy as men. Despite the sensationalism, having children brings some level of happiness to both men and women.

Most of the stories I read, however, focused on the comparison between couples and that was a mistake. By focusing on the comparison between couples, I think the articles missed an important finding from the study which is that while children can make us happy, we have to make our partner a priority in order to have a happy marriage.

The articles seemed to hint that it was the being childless that made the couples happy. I think that conclusion is wrong. It’s not being childless that makes you happier otherwise childless women would have been happier and moms less so. Instead, I believe the reason for the happiness gap between couples with and without children is that the childless couples spent more time working on their relationships. The major takeaway from the study should be that it is important for couples to keep the romance in their relationship.

So what can we learn from childless couples?

Childless couples also reportedly do more to maintain their relationships such as spending more time together to talk or go out than the couples who have children.

The results of the study ring true to me because my husband and I had to be mindful about keeping the romance alive in our marriage after our son got here. He’s the joy of our life and so we became very kid-focused which took a toll on our marriage. Now, we do a lot the things in the “Getting back the romance after baby” post. (Read the  post for some ideas.) Most importantly, we made a conscious decision to be each other’s boyfriend/girlfriend which is what the surveyed childless couples do and which in my experience works to keep my marriage happy.

Posted by Yardyspice of BlackMothering.com

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Muffy MendozaAuthor posts

Muffy Mendoza is an author, speaker and founder of Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a support group for nearly 4,000 African-American moms in the Pittsburgh region. To further fill the void Muffy has created a line of educational products focused on helping Black moms be the best moms, too. Her first book, The Brown Mama Mindset: A Blueprint for Black Moms on Life, Love & Home, was featured at the 2018 Essence Festival and is currently sold in various cities across the U.S. Muffy champions the beauty of Black motherhood everywhere she goes, even on the TEDx stage. Find out more about Muffy on muffymendoza.com.

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