For the last 5 years, my kids have gotten no more than 3 gifts a piece for Christmas.  When I go to the grocery store I don’t even look at the organic produce (cause my budget tells me I betta not look over there), and yes, occasionally, my bills are late.  I try to pay on time, but sometimes my budget says no to that too.  The point I’m trying to make is that Black moms are stressed out and guess what mamas?  Stressing yourself out won’t make anything better.  I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.  I’m tired of America trying to make motherhood into this Pintrest-driven, FDA-certified, clean to the point of sterile, $1,000 birthday party, apron-wearing, perfect white snow on Christmas experience.  It’s just not that.  My motherhood looks more like a buy what’s on sale, it’s likely going to rain on Christmas ’cause I live in Pittsburgh, I just spilled gravy from the turkey on my new outfit and these got-damn Christmas jars I tried to make look like a hot glue mess that just shipped from China without the ‘fragile’ box mess. In essence, I’m still trying to get my #momlife.

I’m tired most days.  When my body hits the bed I’m exhausted, and I’m a stay/work-at-home mom.  I can’t imagine the workload my mamas who are working 9 to 5 outside the home, going to basketball practice, still gotta stop at the grocery store to grab something for dinner and still clean the house are taking on.  One of the best things my mother did for me, unknowingly, was to expose me to the hardships of motherhood.  When I gave birth to my first son at 19, I knew motherhood was no jog in the park with the perfect running stroller.  I knew there would be days when my walk to work with my $20 umbrella stroller would be bumpy.  So now as a married woman who has a pretty decent lifestyle, however tiring it is, I really appreciate the struggle. One of the best things my baby sister ever said to me was:

Trust Your Struggle

I learned sometime ago that hard times are just God’s way of teaching.  While the struggle is real for Black mothers, the universe calls all things unto us that we need to grow into the beings of light that it wills us to be.  So, trust your struggle mamas.  Through trusting your intuition and experiences, you are giving your children the ability to respect your mamahood hustle.  And, don’t stress about it too much.  Embrace it!

Motherhood is the course.

This is closure on whatever mommyhood woes you’ve been experiencing.  What are you stressing and how can you let it go? #TakeToday

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black mom problemsblack mom stressChristmasMuffy Mendoza

Muffy MendozaAuthor posts

Muffy Mendoza is an author, speaker and founder of Pittsburgh Brown Mamas, a support group for nearly 4,000 African-American moms in the Pittsburgh region. To further fill the void Muffy has created a line of educational products focused on helping Black moms be the best moms, too. Her first book, The Brown Mama Mindset: A Blueprint for Black Moms on Life, Love & Home, was featured at the 2018 Essence Festival and is currently sold in various cities across the U.S. Muffy champions the beauty of Black motherhood everywhere she goes, even on the TEDx stage. Find out more about Muffy on muffymendoza.com.

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